Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
