I'm jealous of your bromance
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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