It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
