is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Randomize