i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
