just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize