I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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