I think im going to throw up on grandma
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
