don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
