oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
it wasn't lemon gatorade
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Randomize
