i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
