I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
