and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
