Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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