I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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