She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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