Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
