anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
