I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
