i just wanna soil my oats bro
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
