Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
