All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
