I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
