Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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