Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
