I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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