i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
