it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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