I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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