idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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