your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We are two peas in an std pod
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
