How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
