He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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