I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
