Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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