seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
