Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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