he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
