is your mom at the bar?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i barfeds in our rink
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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