i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
