dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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