Where is the hickey?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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