Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize