Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
