do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
