remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
