it wasn't lemon gatorade
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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