Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
