It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
