I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
