you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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