I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
