In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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