he thought i was a dude.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
