We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
