Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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