it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
