I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Dick very happy bro
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
why is half of my head shaved?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
