What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
