When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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