i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
