I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
