i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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